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Radio Haze

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I just recently got a pair of bluetooth headphones conducive to sleeping. They’re comfy and hardly noticeable. They also double as a sleep mask. Something I didn’t realize I was missing in life.

With these I have resurrected a habit I have had since I was very young, listening to old time radio as I go to sleep.

I find them comforting. Which was necessary in a childhood that was often anything but.

My circadian rhythms are distinctly vaudevillian. The cadence and patter of the radio comics have seeped into the mind subconsciously and I can feel the meter take hold every time I find the groove and begin to riff.

It alienated from my generation entirely. Not just that, but it didn’t help. Forced to play soccer, I would stand alone at my spot as defender. Reciting Lucky Strike commercials from the Jack Benny program to myself. L.S.M.F.T.

Relying heavy on that which you can hear has lead to a comedic life of making the words flow together correctly and editing to fit an internal rhythm.

This also instilled in me a desire to be on the radio.

In a recent discussion with my satirist friends, we had a long discussion about our goals. A lot of people spoke of wanting to write for television. I wouldn’t say no if they came a-calling. But my goals centered on the radio.

The same way Garrison Keillor was on the radio, but would settle for Jean Shepherd.

I’ve never known how to go about accomplishing this goal.

In this modern world we do have podcasts. So anyone can have a radio program of sorts.

You don’t know what it’s like for someone like me to find themselves at the beginning of the new roaring 20s with radio-esque programs and satire sites (as opposed to magazines) proliferating. It’s a huge relief. Whew.

So lately I have toyed with the notion of writing a program, performing it live, then recording it for podcast distribution. I don’t know.

If anyone has a line on how to be on the wireless, I am open to you. Thank you for listening.

Stay tuned for the NBC Morning News which follows over most of these same stations.